Wednesday, July 19, 2006
John
As I have mentioned earlier, I worked at the local telephone company as an installation technician. I was young, ambitious, and in good shape. But the reality of it was I was little, short, and not really built to do a man’s job. I was so short that I literally had to climb up on the bumper of the truck and push the ladder far enough off the top of the truck so that I could then pull it down. The process was so difficult, that I would usually use my gaffs (a climbing iron or its steel point used by a telephone lineman). I would just attach these to my boots and begin my ascension up the pole.
Because I worked in a crew that worked predominately in the suburbs, this was never really an issue. Telephone poles in the suburbs usually didn’t have the metal steps. Telephone poles in the city did. This all changed one day when my telephone installation orders called for me to work in the city.
I had an installation job in a commercial area that was adjacent to a public parking lot. It was a cold windy day. Telephones poles in the city generally had steps above a certain level that precluded that you use a ladder, as it would be impossible to use gaffs. Now the one thing to keep in mind is that these ladders are made of fiberglass. When raised to there full extension, they are 24 to 27 feet tall.
I had just completed the outside work of the job and had moved the ladder away from the telephone pole to lower it. At the moment that I was attempting to lower the ladder, a strong gust of wind came up and caught my ladder in it. I had a really hard time struggling to maintain control of the ladder as I attempted to lower it. Just as I lost control and it began to fall, I realized directly in it’s path, was a car. Knowing that I had to let the ladder fall but unable to accept the fact that I would cause damage to someone else’s car, I made an effort to redirect the ladder to an empty spot in the parking lot. I did, but pulled several muscles in my chest and back. My career as a telephone installer was over. After returning to work from this injury, I was assigned to an inside job in our public telephone dispatch center. That’s were I met John.
In addition to the dispatch center that I was assigned to, there were several other company operations located in the same building. Among these other departments, located two floors below us was the forecast and planning department. John worked as a forecaster in this department.
Now understand, this is the first real office type job that I would have. I essentially came from a blue-collar type of job. I wore blue jeans, steel-toed boots and work shirts. I realized very early that I would have to change my whole mode of dress. Changing my style of dressing would be easy. Changing my mindset would be much more difficult. I still suffered from self-esteem issues.
John was 6 feet 4 inches tall. Tall, dark, and handsome. He wore business suits and had a smile that could melt butter. He was in management and drove a luxury car. He was the most eligible bachelor in the building. Totally out of my league. Or so I thought.
There was a lunchroom located on the third floor of our building. Everyone who worked in the building would often times eat there. So it was not unusual to run into the various employees in the cafeteria at one point or another during the course of the week. I would see John in the lunchroom a few times every week and just thought he was just being nice when he would speak to me. There had even been one or two occasions when we actually ate lunch at the same table as a result of mutual friends.
Even though I found him physically attractive, I never considered that I would date him because I felt that he was totally out of my league. I also knew that there were far more attractive women in our building that were interested in him that were closer to his lifestyle than me.
As time progressed there had even been a couple of occasions when he and his friend Lou had joined me at my table for lunch. I had just come to believe that he was sitting there out of habit and not because he could possibly be interested in someone like me. So when he asked me if I would like to go out to dinner and a movie with him, I was totally taken aback. I accepted and was totally panicked when I realized what I had just gotten myself into.
The type of men that I had been used to dating was not in the same league as John. It’s not to say that he was any better than them, I had never dated any professional men. My upbringing was strictly blue-collar, self-esteem was still a big issue with me, and I didn’t even know if we had anything in common. But I still accepted.
When he arrived to pick me up at my mother’s house, I had moved back home for a time after Danny, he managed to impress my entire family. He was dressed to the hilt in a suit, looking very dapper and debonair. He was the perfect gentleman to my family and was an obvious step up from the type of men my family was used to seeing coming by to take me out.
We did go out to a movie, but when we arrived at the restaurant for dinner, we had more than an hour to wait before we could be seated. We decided to get a pizza and go back to his apartment and just talk. I wound up spending the night. My mother was furious with me. I knew I was going to marry that man that first night.
Ezekiel 16:15
But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his.
I seduced this man the very first time that I went out with him. The one thing that I knew how to do was to please my men. I took great pleasure in knowing that I could make this man desire me in a physical sense. In my selfish desire to have this man, I would do anything to ensure he would want me as his wife. I literally surrendered myself and my will to make him my husband. I did everything to get him to marry me but ask God.
Proverbs 7:21
With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.
Ladies, be careful of what you ask for. You just might get it. After about a year and a half of dating, John finally asked me to marry him. Of course I accepted.
John who told me that he had been raised Catholic said that if we got married in the catholic church, we would have to go through six months of marriage counseling. I didn’t want to wait. I can’t remember why, but we decided to get married at the church my grandmother was currently attending. We met with the pastor, Reverend J and we where informed that even in the Baptist church, we would still have some counseling to go through. The good news is that we didn’t have to go through six months worth of counseling but rather a few sessions.
In hindsight, I really believe that we probably would have been better off waiting the six months and going through the counseling rather than rushing into marriage for no other reason than to be married. You can never really know too much about your potential mate. Pastor J asked many questions of us that I don’t think we had ever discussed before. Of course we had all the right answers or so I thought.
We were married on a cold rainy day in April 1983. Tax day, April 15th to be exact. I don’t know why we chose that date, other than it was on a Friday. I remember that we were running late because we did not want to get married until his daughter Cara got there. You see he had a five-year-old daughter whom he seemed to adore. When it was close to the appointed time for us to be married, we couldn’t find Cara. I believe she got to the church a few minutes before the appointed time.
We had decided not to have a big wedding because of the expense. So it was just my family, his grandparents, who had raised him, his sister Mary, his brother Jerry and a few close friends. His best friend Ed stood up as his best man and my youngest sister Denise, was my maid of honor. Reverend J pronounced us husband and wife as we began our new life together as one.
Matthew 19:6
So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Because I worked in a crew that worked predominately in the suburbs, this was never really an issue. Telephone poles in the suburbs usually didn’t have the metal steps. Telephone poles in the city did. This all changed one day when my telephone installation orders called for me to work in the city.
I had an installation job in a commercial area that was adjacent to a public parking lot. It was a cold windy day. Telephones poles in the city generally had steps above a certain level that precluded that you use a ladder, as it would be impossible to use gaffs. Now the one thing to keep in mind is that these ladders are made of fiberglass. When raised to there full extension, they are 24 to 27 feet tall.
I had just completed the outside work of the job and had moved the ladder away from the telephone pole to lower it. At the moment that I was attempting to lower the ladder, a strong gust of wind came up and caught my ladder in it. I had a really hard time struggling to maintain control of the ladder as I attempted to lower it. Just as I lost control and it began to fall, I realized directly in it’s path, was a car. Knowing that I had to let the ladder fall but unable to accept the fact that I would cause damage to someone else’s car, I made an effort to redirect the ladder to an empty spot in the parking lot. I did, but pulled several muscles in my chest and back. My career as a telephone installer was over. After returning to work from this injury, I was assigned to an inside job in our public telephone dispatch center. That’s were I met John.
In addition to the dispatch center that I was assigned to, there were several other company operations located in the same building. Among these other departments, located two floors below us was the forecast and planning department. John worked as a forecaster in this department.
Now understand, this is the first real office type job that I would have. I essentially came from a blue-collar type of job. I wore blue jeans, steel-toed boots and work shirts. I realized very early that I would have to change my whole mode of dress. Changing my style of dressing would be easy. Changing my mindset would be much more difficult. I still suffered from self-esteem issues.
John was 6 feet 4 inches tall. Tall, dark, and handsome. He wore business suits and had a smile that could melt butter. He was in management and drove a luxury car. He was the most eligible bachelor in the building. Totally out of my league. Or so I thought.
There was a lunchroom located on the third floor of our building. Everyone who worked in the building would often times eat there. So it was not unusual to run into the various employees in the cafeteria at one point or another during the course of the week. I would see John in the lunchroom a few times every week and just thought he was just being nice when he would speak to me. There had even been one or two occasions when we actually ate lunch at the same table as a result of mutual friends.
Even though I found him physically attractive, I never considered that I would date him because I felt that he was totally out of my league. I also knew that there were far more attractive women in our building that were interested in him that were closer to his lifestyle than me.
As time progressed there had even been a couple of occasions when he and his friend Lou had joined me at my table for lunch. I had just come to believe that he was sitting there out of habit and not because he could possibly be interested in someone like me. So when he asked me if I would like to go out to dinner and a movie with him, I was totally taken aback. I accepted and was totally panicked when I realized what I had just gotten myself into.
The type of men that I had been used to dating was not in the same league as John. It’s not to say that he was any better than them, I had never dated any professional men. My upbringing was strictly blue-collar, self-esteem was still a big issue with me, and I didn’t even know if we had anything in common. But I still accepted.
When he arrived to pick me up at my mother’s house, I had moved back home for a time after Danny, he managed to impress my entire family. He was dressed to the hilt in a suit, looking very dapper and debonair. He was the perfect gentleman to my family and was an obvious step up from the type of men my family was used to seeing coming by to take me out.
We did go out to a movie, but when we arrived at the restaurant for dinner, we had more than an hour to wait before we could be seated. We decided to get a pizza and go back to his apartment and just talk. I wound up spending the night. My mother was furious with me. I knew I was going to marry that man that first night.
Ezekiel 16:15
But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his.
I seduced this man the very first time that I went out with him. The one thing that I knew how to do was to please my men. I took great pleasure in knowing that I could make this man desire me in a physical sense. In my selfish desire to have this man, I would do anything to ensure he would want me as his wife. I literally surrendered myself and my will to make him my husband. I did everything to get him to marry me but ask God.
Proverbs 7:21
With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.
Ladies, be careful of what you ask for. You just might get it. After about a year and a half of dating, John finally asked me to marry him. Of course I accepted.
John who told me that he had been raised Catholic said that if we got married in the catholic church, we would have to go through six months of marriage counseling. I didn’t want to wait. I can’t remember why, but we decided to get married at the church my grandmother was currently attending. We met with the pastor, Reverend J and we where informed that even in the Baptist church, we would still have some counseling to go through. The good news is that we didn’t have to go through six months worth of counseling but rather a few sessions.
In hindsight, I really believe that we probably would have been better off waiting the six months and going through the counseling rather than rushing into marriage for no other reason than to be married. You can never really know too much about your potential mate. Pastor J asked many questions of us that I don’t think we had ever discussed before. Of course we had all the right answers or so I thought.
We were married on a cold rainy day in April 1983. Tax day, April 15th to be exact. I don’t know why we chose that date, other than it was on a Friday. I remember that we were running late because we did not want to get married until his daughter Cara got there. You see he had a five-year-old daughter whom he seemed to adore. When it was close to the appointed time for us to be married, we couldn’t find Cara. I believe she got to the church a few minutes before the appointed time.
We had decided not to have a big wedding because of the expense. So it was just my family, his grandparents, who had raised him, his sister Mary, his brother Jerry and a few close friends. His best friend Ed stood up as his best man and my youngest sister Denise, was my maid of honor. Reverend J pronounced us husband and wife as we began our new life together as one.
Matthew 19:6
So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
