The Story of Me

Diane and Joe have been married for fourteen years. They have several businesses together and seem to be very happy with one another. However, there is one problem. Joe likes to drink and on occasion, will become mean, surely, and disrespectful when he is drinking. This bothers Diane greatly. To the point that she has talked about divorcing Joe whenever he begins to drink.

Now where the problem comes in is that Diane also likes to drink. Because her temperament remains constant she doesn’t see what the issue is. Diane remains the same quiet and demure person even after she starts drinking, and doesn’t believe that her drinking has any affect on her husband’s drinking.

What she has failed to realize is that even though she can drink and it doesn’t change her personality, she is judging her husband by a different set of standards and keeping him from being the man that she wants him to be. In order for her to expect something from her husband, she must be willing to do those very same things. It is ludicrous and unfair to expect our mates to do something we are not willing to do ourselves. When we judge others by a set of standards we are not willing to keep ourselves, we become stumbling blocks to their salvation.

Romans 14;13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.

My sister Theresa was the first of two daughters born to my mother and my stepfather. If any of the girls in my family where considered beautiful, Theresa would be the one. She was six years younger than me. She was much taller than the rest of us girls and had the physique of a model. Theresa had always looked older than she really was.

Now about the time I was really being a wild child, Theresa was twelve. She had always looked up to the life style I was living. Here I am the oldest sister, smoking weed, being promiscuous, and treating life like it was an all day and all night party. Ezekiel 16:61

Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed when you receive your sisters, both those who are older than you and those who are younger. I will give them to you as daughters, but not on the basis of my covenant with you.

God had given me another chance to redeem myself and here I was not only blowing it for myself, but also leading one of my own sisters astray. I had not really learned anything yet. My mother, who was still dealing with my rebellion, now had to fight to keep my sister from following in my footsteps. To make matters worse, she had started at an earlier age and I was encouraging her.

To Theresa, what I was doing was exciting. I was with an older man who bought me things, other men clamored for my attention. Hanging out in clubs and getting high were thrilling to her. I always had money and dressed nice. I was too caught up in myself to realize that I was actually impacting her life too. Because of what I was doing, I now know that I had a very negative impact on what her life was to become.

My sister saw me and thought that I was leading a very glamorous and exciting life. She wanted to be just like me and she didn’t want to wait. Having older sisters who had boyfriends exposed Theresa to older guys who didn’t realize just how young Theresa really was. She loved and welcomed all of the attention that these young men gave her.

Theresa lost a big part of her childhood. She wanted to grow up before her time and be like her oldest sister. Because of this she has struggled with drugs, wrong relationships, and when it was time to really be an adult, she was not prepared. Titus 2;7
In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness

I was not setting a good example at all. You see ladies, not only must we be a good example for our blood sisters, we must set a good example for all of the young ladies coming up in the world. I know mothers are the one we should look up to, but guess what? Our sisters, cousins, neighbors, and other young ladies that are around you, may be looking at you as their role model. Are you being good role model and leading by example?

Following my lead , my sister Theresa began trying to be just like me. Theresa was hanging out, getting high, and being pursued by carnal men. But you see, in many ways her relationships were a lot more dangerous than mine. Theresa got involved with heavier drugs than I did. She came up in the eighties, during the initial crack cocaine epidemic.

The men she got involved with where more dangerous than any man I ever would have been around. But more importantly because of her age, Theresa just was not mature enough to deal with a lot of the situations she would be faced with. For a while she was truly lost in the world of drugs and her relationships where founded in that same culture.

Also during this time, my stepfather, her father, whom she was extremely close to, died. Instead of finding comfort in the lost of our father in the Lord, she turned to drugs to heal her pain.

It was shortly after this period that Theresa got involved with a man that not only almost destroyed her life, but also came very close to killing her. She met Derrick one night at the club. He was young, good looking, and had an air of danger about him. Derrick introduced her to some of the finer things in life. Drinking Moet, and snorting cocaine.

In the beginning Theresa found his jealously towards her attractive. But as time went on, his drug use became heavier and his jealously towards her became more and more violent. To the point that if they were out together and another man spoke to Theresa, he would slap her and throw drinks in her face. Very often the evening would end with him dragging her out of whatever club or party they happened to be at.

My mother became very frustrated with what Theresa was doing. After several confrontations between Theresa and my mother about her staying out all night and sometimes gone for days at a time, my mother told Theresa she was no longer welcomed in her house.

Again, without realizing what I had done, I had created a situation between Theresa and my mother by the things that I had previously done. I know that many of the things that I had done when I lived at home, had caused my mother great heartache and she was not willing to go through those same heartaches with my younger sister. Jeremiah 8;18
O my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me

You see, Theresa had not come to know Jesus as her personal savior. She did not know the redeeming power of the Holy Spirit. So she had not come to know how to heal her broken heart at the lost of our father, by turning to God. How often have many of us turned to sex, drugs, and alcohol to heal our broken hearts?

We have to believe in something. That is a part of our nature. When we stopped believing that God is the answer to our problems and started believing that by running away from our problems in drunkenness, getting high, and sleeping around, believing that these things would help us to feel better about ourselves and our lives, we formed a partnership with the devil. And we did exactly what Satan wanted us to do. Turn our backs on the only thing that could truly lead us to happiness.

The peace, love, and safety that can only be found with God. All of the worldly things that I mentioned above only lead to greater sorrow. When we think that we are losing ourselves in self-centered self-gratification we are only creating bigger problems for ourselves that we continue to try to run away from. Creating a viscous circle of repetition. Until we have destroyed not only ourselves but also everything else around us.

That’s not what God wants for us. God loves us and wants only the best for us. Until we accept that fact, we will never be happy. There is nothing wrong with drinking. Wine was a staple in biblical times. The difference though is that wine wasn’t consumed to get drunk. We get drunk to lose ourselves and generally to escape from our perceived problems. I say perceived because that’s exactly what they are. Jeremiah 48;26
"Make her drunk, for she has defied the LORD. Let Moab wallow in her vomit; let her be an object of ridicule

Ladies, when we allow ourselves to become drunk, be it from alcohol or drugs, we are defying God’s word. We make ourselves the objects of ridicule. How can we expect men to respect us in any given situation, when we are not even respectful of ourselves.

When we get outside of the will of God and lust after and conform to the ways of the world, we leave ourselves open to disrespect from the world. How we conduct ourselves in public helps to determine how we are viewed in private. No man wants a woman who he cannot be proud of. If you are drunk and disorderly in public, I can guarantee you he is not a man that wants to make you his wife. Not if he is a righteous man. If he accepts your public displays of drunkenness as being permissible, then he is a man that has no respect of self. Would you want your mate to display this type of character in public?

Ladies, we are a mirror to our mates. Whatever characteristics we want to see in our mates, we must display those very same characteristics. What ever we don’t want to see our mates do, we must refrain from those very same things.